So there has been a few things floating around in my head for a while and its about time I sat down and got one of them out and into a form that will be easier to share then the muddled up mess of my brain. For me it has always been a challenge to write seriously, but at the same time I find that when I do, I am able to clarify what I am thinking and sort of cull out the irrelevant ideas and end up with a finished product that makes sense and sometimes is actually helpful.
But it is still tough. I have found that when I start to wrestle with a topic I write a better article when I have been mulling it over in the back of my head for a while. Not always actively meditating on the topic, but its there and I come back to it over and over and I usually end up finding things that relate to it as Im pounding out the hours of my life in between posts. Its a weird thing, but “Eureka” moments happen often enough when things all of a sudden click that I have become used to waiting for them to happen before I charge off into a new writing endeavor. This one here has been simmering for a long time, and I am afraid that it will end up being rather long, and while long, I hope at the same time that what I am laying out will still be followable and make some sort of sense by the time you get to the end.
Part of me even now hesitates to write this, partly because I am rather fully aware that I dont really know what I am talking about, and partly because I know that I am not really answering what I set out to answer. I am coming around to where I started and maybe having a better grasp on the topic, but at the same time knowing that I have such an incomplete understanding that I SHOULDN’T be writing this… but here I go and no one is going to stop me (just maybe correct me after I am done).
Love.
What is it? What does it look like? How do I do it? What does it feel like? But mostly, what is it?
Love is, among other things, defined as:
- a strong positive emotion of regard and affection;
- any object of warm affection or devotion;
- to have a great affection or liking for;
Talking to a few people about this, Love is an action. Something that is done, or shown.
From 1 Cor. 13 we see that love is:
patient, kind, not jealous, forbearing, hopeful,
The MacArthur Bible Commentary puts it in these 15 points:
1. “Love suffers long.” Bearing with a person’s worst behavior, without retaliation, regardless of the circumstances.
2. “Love is kind.” Diligently seeking ways to be actively useful in another person’s life.
3. “Love does not envy.” Delighting in the esteem and honor given to someone else.
4. “Love does not parade itself.” Not drawing attention to oneself exclusive of others.
5. “Love is not puffed up.” Knowing one is not more important then others.
6. “Love does not behave rudely.” Not engaging any person in ungodly activity.
7. “Love does not seek its own.” Being others-oriented.
8. “Love is not provoked.” Not resorting to anger as a solution to difficulties between myself and others.
9. “Love thinks no evil.” Never keeping an accout due on others.
10. “Love does not rejoice in iniquity.” Never delighting in another person’s unrighteous behavior , not will I join its expression.
11. “Love rejoices with the truth.” Finding great joy when truth prevails in another person’s life.
12. “Love bears all things.” Being publicaly silent about another person’s faults.
13. “Love believes all things.” Espressing unshakable confidence and trust in others.
14. “Love hopes all things.” Confidently expecting future victory in another person’s life, regardless of the present imperfections.
15. “Love endures all things.” Outlasting every assault of Satan to break up relationships. (Page 1598)
Digging through some more books I came across my copy of The Exemplary Husband which says the following about what love is NOT:
It isn’t romantic feelings.
It isn’t physical attraction.
It isn’t sex.
It isn’t ‘needing’ someone.
It isn’t benefiting from someone else.
It isn’t loving words by themselves.
It isn’t loving actions by themselves.
It isn’t being ‘in love’. (summarized from pages 102-104)
There’s a lot more in there, but I dont really have the time to go over it all, besides the book is only like $8 and is more then worth it in its entirity.
Anyway, What is this thing called ‘love’??
Well, to me it seems that love is a decision to stand by a person at nearly any cost. To be comitted to their good, at your own detriment if needed. Not be made under extreme emotional pressure, but in clear and reasonable thought. To put the other person’s needs, desires and comfort before your own.
To love someone is to be wholeheartedly behind them as they struggle through life, supporting them in any way that you can. To provide as much relief as possible from the stress of the world around, and to ultimately show them the nature of Christ as you interact with them.
A lot of the “is nots” are aspects of love, but they come and go with time, and therefore are not the basis for love. They are occasional displays of love but not the essence of it.
THAT is love.
and probably somewhat to very confusing . . .
and it only took like 6 months from start to finish on the draft . . . gosh I hate my way of thinking sometimes . . .
Sometimes the big things in life do take time. It’s God’s way of showing us in a fuller way what is true or revealing things to us. It’s awesome to read what you have learned. I whole heartedly second it! Sometimes the most precious lessons in life are struggled over and learned over long periods of time. Thank you for posting your findings!